November 9 2009
Dear Southwest. I write you for two reasons
First: To compliment you on how awesome your airline is. Booking and boarding is so simple. When I fly southwest I feel like a slimy little baby bird being taken care of by the mama bird. You provide me with shelter to guard me against the elements and even chew up my worms and spit them into my mouth for me. Bravo!
Second: To request, for the love of God, to PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE open up service to Pensacola Regional Airport (PNS). I fly there twice a year from DC to visit my family and the only affordable airlines that go that route are those big mean bullies, Airtran and US Air. They both seem so gentle and approachable at first. Then when you run to them they throw dirt in your eyes, take your wallet, and then hold you upside down by your feet, shaking all your lunch money out of your pockets before giving you a swirle ... followed by pulling your pants down in front of all the cheerleaders during gym class.
They're mean, MEAN airlines. If you cannot extend your flight service to PNS, can you at least go to the homes of the CEO's for these companies and maybe punch them in the testicles or perhaps light a flaming bag of poo on their doorsteps and then run? Or can you at least get your mom to go to their CEO's moms and tell them that they're picking on their customers. Maybe these two airlines need a spanking so they'll stop taking advantage of all the kids on the playground.
Any older brother type of action is greatly appreciated, as will be any future service to PNS airport.
Your faithful Southwest hatchling,
->Brian L